Bill is in the basement, picking out a Cabinet
Al's on the Internet - tryin' to bum a cigarette
Hillary blew health care - she's gonna try welfare
Dodd's filling mail sacks, sending all the checks back
The Comeback Kid won his second term bid
God knows when he'll ever feel constrained again
Without Morris the Mentor, he'll lose his Vital Center
Boy George is leavin' town - don't wanna be around
When the White House of Cards comes a-tumblin' down

Whitewatergate, Travelgate, Filegate, Funding-gate
Looks like Kenneth Starr's gonna have to keep workin' late
Carville on the talk shows - says Starr's gotta go
John Huang's laying low - doin' the Lippo Tip-toe
The Comeback Kid's tryin' to keep it all hid
Susan stares at four walls, waitin' for the phone call
Lex Luthor, turncoat, sings with a Deep Throat
If Hillary gets indicted, no one'll be surprised if
She heads down the Beltway, tryin' to pull an O.J.

Bad polls sunk Dole - the Little General's sideshow
Got ratings that were too low - so Ross was a no-show
Debates are a big bore - Jack Kemp can't score
But Liddy amazes - she oughta do Vegas!
The Comeback Kid scored Soccer Moms big
B-1 down in flames - C-SPAN won't be the same
Hey, Hillary - if a paper bag's a drag, how 'bout a hockey mask?
The Aussies get a peek at some Presidential leaks

Kids can't read, can't spell, can't add, can't pray
But courts say it's OK to tote a gun to class today
Vouchers are the answer - but a union disaster
The NEA should own up - the system's in a coma
Twenty years of schooling and you can't read your diploma
Look out kids - your taxes will be big
84 percent - how you gonna pay the rent?
Clinton's bridge leads nowhere - it's nothin' but hot air
Generation X's gonna learn one thing yet
You can't go to work wearing sandals, holding candles!

Parody version © 1996 Paul Silhan

Click here for the other "Bob Zimmerman" parodies:
They Want Newt So Bad
Everybody's Scanning Newt's Phone
Knockin' On Heaven's Gate